Bamboo: Cooler Than You.

BAMBOO_COOLER_THAN_YOU

_______________________________________________

Millennial's have infiltrated the ranks of pop-culture, protecting the world from micro-aggressions by imposing safe-spaces and participation awards on us all. As someone who falls into this category since I was born in the early 80's, I'd like to say that I'm only kidding. I'd also like to let you know that I find the term "Millennial" highly offensive and would prefer if you referred to me as a Vainglorious 21st Century Iconoclast as I do not identify with any traditional measurement of time... you Chronophobe!

Screaming from stressYour intrinsically paternalistic interpretation of the 4th dimension causes me great emotional distress.

Sorry. Mille... *ahemVainglorious 21st Century Iconoclasts tend to get a little cranky when our mundane personal achievements go unnoticed, and nobody asked me about the vague, attention seeking tweet I posted this morning that read "Don't Ask." followed by a sad face emoji. Unfortunately, my delicate sensibilities were only further agitated upon researching information for this article, when I learned that (TRIGGER WARNING) bamboo is a million times more interesting than all the Minecraft videos on YouTube combined!

minecraft_playthrough_tutorial_parody_music_video All Eighty One Million, Seven Hundred Thousand of them.

So what exactly makes bamboo so cool that it warrants an entire blog post detailing it's merits? (Besides the fact that we print on it.)

bamboo_grass_not_treeBamboo Is Not a Tree

Seriously. I didn't know this either, I just naturally assumed wood = tree. As a member of the Poaceae family, bamboo is a perennial grass plant. Growing the largest in the grass category, it's also the only type of grass that can expand into forest. With nearly 1,000 unique species, many larger types of bamboo bear a strong resemblance to trees, some of which are referred to as "Bamboo Trees", which is segues perfectly into our next point...

YogaBamboo Produces 35% More Oxygen Than Trees

Appropriating more carbon dioxide at a greater rate than trees, bamboo plays a critical role in balancing the levels of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the Earth's atmosphere. Because of this, a grove of bamboo plants release 35% more oxygen than an identical volume of trees. Given these properties, bamboo can effectively reduce carbon footprints when used for production purposes since...

bamboo_green_renewable_resourceBamboo Is A Green Renewable Resource

Some bamboo species can grow nearly 1 meter daily, reaching heights of up to 100 ft within 60 days. Combining it's expedited growth cycle with an efficient carbon exchange rate, bamboo replaces the need to harvest slow growing forests, making it the perfect alternative to hardwood trees.

bamboo_survived_nuclear_bombBamboo Survived An Atomic Blast

After the atomic bombing of Hiroshima during WW2, one Bamboo grove was still standing,  making it the only living object closest to ground zero to withstand the incineration of the blast. The surviving bamboo culms from this grove are now preserved inside a museum in Hiroshima.

bamboo_durability_resiliance_bam_boomBamboo Was Named After It's Reaction To Fire.

In the early days, bamboo was referred to as bamboe by the Dutch, bambu by the Portuguese, and mambu in Malaysia/Indonesia.

When bamboo is burned, the wood itself begins to vaporize. If too much vapor is inside the wood, it will exert pressure and the wood will pop, which is described as a bam/boom sound. According to legend ("legend" being the 4-5 unsubstantiated articles I read on bamboo for this blog), all of these words were derivative from the sound of bamboo burning.

I'm not sure how accurate this might be, but it definitely sounds cooler than whatever the actual explanation might be. I apologize for the lack of factual data for this last piece of trivia, but c'mon, this isn't Bloomberg... more like Buzzfeed. : /

nutella_boy_meets_world_buzzfeed_top_5Minus the heavily contrived articles about Boy Meets World and NuTella.